“Come Dancing”–The Kinks, State of Confusion
For some reason, the people who ran my high school in rural Nebraska
in 1990 thought it was important that we learn to bowl in PE class. I
don’t know why, and I don’t know where they expected us to use our new
skills- the only bowling alley in town had burned down years before,
with no rebuild on the horizon. But the verdict was for bowling, so
bowl we did. The lack of an alley wasn’t a problem (heck, we wouldn’t
have had time to get to the alley and back and still have a PE class
anyway); we just roped off half of the school’s gym and practiced with
special gym-friendly practice balls which were basically really firm,
hollow kickballs with fingerholes. Did they bounce? Oh, you better
believe they bounced.
Like I said, though, only half of the gym was used for bowling
lessons; the other half was open for other PE classes. As it worked
out, my 10th-grade PE class “bowled” while a 9th-grade PE class did
normal PE stuff in the other half of the gym. And that particular
9th-grade PE section included a girl who I was pretty nuts about for a
good chunk of high school. And I was somehow convinced (I guess the
takeaway here is that 15-year-old boys are superstitious morons) that
if I arranged to be in the faux-alley closest to the 9th graders, and
the Object of My Affection happened to see me kicking ass bowling,
she’d be driven mad with desire and would finally be mine. Blah blah
blah. So I took this ridiculous bouncey-ball bowling very seriously.
So where do the Kinks fit in? Around the same time, I was really into a
Kinks mix tape a friend had made me, including “Come Dancing”. I loved
the song, even though I couldn’t make out all of the lyrics; one of
the bits that did come in clear for me was a line about a bowling
alley (looking it up just now, I finally see that Davies was saying
“palais” over and over. OK, that makes sense, and never would’ve
gotten that). The song has nothing to do with bowling, but it’s catchy
and they mention a bowling alley and somehow that combined so that
every time I was bouncy-bowling in gym, I’d get the song stuck in my
head, and started to get convinced that if I could really GET INTO the
song I’d enter some sort of zen flow and bowl the shit out of that gym
and then bowl over the girl (see what I did there?) and all would be
right with the world.
I think I wound up with a Gentleman’s C for the bowling unit, and I
never did get the girl (the effort died once and for all when she
hooked up with an exchange student from Brazil; I knew I couldn’t
compete internationally), but to this day I can’t bowl without “Come
Dancing” kicking into my head as soon as I lift up the ball.
–Keith Pille rocks in Derailleur and draws and writes the weekly comic Nowhere Band, the best comic about being in a nowhere band on this planet.